Welcome Viking!
I can tell you my experience has been very much the same. There is no worse situation then being in a "he-man" culture and not being able to flex muscles and run like a deer. I was pretty bent for a while about the whole thing, and I've let it ruin more then one day for me.
I don't know if you've ever heard the saying about getting divorced from someone it being said "the best revenge is to live well"? I think it applies to this a little as well. The best way I can move on from being made to feel like a turd for something I have no control over is to live well. Make the most of my life and take advantage of every opportunity it presents.
Right now, I'm 33 years old, and I have a 50% retirement before I wake up in the morning. Yup, I'm tore up, but my wife still loves me, and I have the rest of my life ahead of me. I can do anything I want, and I know I served and gave alot while doing so. These clowns that have no compassion, and can't see that they could just as easily end up where we are will never get it.
My sister in law has Crohns, and I have back and leg problems- I can imagine pretty well what you are going through. Your in the right place here man,....LOTS of good people and good information. Pull up a chair and ask anything ya like, share as much as you can. Again, welcome!