PTSD and Depression, How do you get your family to understand what you are going through?
- Thread starter AmyGallay
- Start date
Sorry to hear that, get them to watch War Torn it a documnetary on PTSD. Goes all the way back through each conflict to the revonlutinary war. It's well made but intense, at least for me. There are some books that were recommend for my wife that I will find out for you tomorrow. Keep your head up family and friends help me the most saying that thought; if somebody doesn't understand something you can't expect good advice.
Indeed, it's definitely a daily challenge albeit individuals who haven't experienced it will never truly understand unfortunately in my opinion.
To that extent, I believe reaching out for education about the symptoms of PTSD and depression to include the willingness of those people to accept that the aforementioned medical conditions are "real" enough to affect any individual's activities of daily living (ADL).
Nonetheless, you are not alone in this continuing struggle to manage your ADL; we are here with open arms and ears!
Thus, I quite often comment that "possessing well-informed knowledge is truly a powerful equalizer."
Best Wishes!
First, Amy, it's very difficult to get anyone to understand the mere military side of things if they have never served. Then, you have to deal with the mental illness side of it...again, that's extremely difficult for people to acknowledge or understand if they've never experienced it themselves. With that said, keep working at getting better (and you will eventually). Work with your therapist on some interpersonal skills regarding how to handle situations in which people are narrow-minded and naive about your behavioral health. Beyond that, you are who you are (not that you shouldn't strive to be better) and it goes for everyone (with or without mental illness) that your true friends and loved ones will accept you for who you are. Are you able to hold down a job?
While I don't have PTSD, I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. What I have found is that some will understand and some will not. Some people are selfish and emotionally needy and will simply not accept your diagnosis because to do so would mean that they would have to give up their need for self pity and need for attention.
My own mother is this kind of person and always has been the epitome of a drama queen. I had to pretty much sever the relationship because I simply cannot handle any more stress in my life right now and to have her in my life may just be the thing that makes me snap one day.
In the end you have to focus on yourself and your own mental health first, and put everyone else second.
My own mother is this kind of person and always has been the epitome of a drama queen. I had to pretty much sever the relationship because I simply cannot handle any more stress in my life right now and to have her in my life may just be the thing that makes me snap one day.
In the end you have to focus on yourself and your own mental health first, and put everyone else second.
I only work 14 hours a week. I have trouble with a couple co-workers, who do unfair and illegal things. I have trouble trusting anyone.
I have trouble just leaving the house. I have no friends, and my family doesn't understand.
My Grandmother raised me, and when I have issues or something happens, all she cares about is how it affects her and how she feels.
I even broke down and was honest with her and told her last week I didn't want to be here anymore. And all I got was a snap out of it and do something with your life.
I do feel like no one cares. And I now know I have to be selfish and care about myself. Before all these things happened to me, I used to help anyone I could. But over the years, I feel as though it is not reciprocated and I get taken advantage of. I just don't have it in me to build relationships with anyone...
Sometimes only caring about you and just focusing on you is what really matter, it isn't being selfish because at the end of the day you know yourself better than anyone does and you know the challenges your faced with on a daily basis dealing with PTSD
Sometimes it's best to talk to someone outside your family and pour your heart out to them, You gotta understand your family know the girl before PTSD, so they don't have a full understand on how it can and has changed you!!
Focus on you and getting your life in order! All of us on this forum is military or former miltary and a huge family and not here to judge you we are here to help you!!
As you see you let us know about the outrageous things you went through and non of us judge you!
I think I can speak for everybody when I say you can send a PM if you need someone to talk to!!
WE ALL LOVE YOU!!
Sometimes it's best to talk to someone outside your family and pour your heart out to them, You gotta understand your family know the girl before PTSD, so they don't have a full understand on how it can and has changed you!!
Focus on you and getting your life in order! All of us on this forum is military or former miltary and a huge family and not here to judge you we are here to help you!!
As you see you let us know about the outrageous things you went through and non of us judge you!
I think I can speak for everybody when I say you can send a PM if you need someone to talk to!!
WE ALL LOVE YOU!!
There is no easy answer Amy. A lot of us understand what you are going through, and I hope this site provides you some support, even if it is only virtual.
As far as your family, it's a hard one to fix. Your grandmother comes from a different era. From a time where PTSD didn't exist, and BH issues were a dirty secret. She probably will never be the person that you will be comfortable confiding in, because as much as you want her to, she probably will not ever completely understand.
When it comes to helping people, there are few people who do, and many who don't. I myself enjoy helping people and feel it's my duty. One of the problems I faced, was for many years I was twisted and angry when people didn't recognize my sacrifice, or thank me for help. It was very frustrating, and it cut me deep. What I learned is that I was hurt because I had expectations of recognition, and it was not realistic. I changed the way I looked at it, and now when I help others, I look at it as just me doing the right thing, and being able to hold my head high knowing I did it. I don't expect anything in return, not even an acknowledgement. It makes it a lot more satisfying to me.
All you can do at this point is get yourself very involved in treatment. Now that you have ratings and access to care, use it to the fullest. See the counselors, go to the group seasons, and rebuild your life a brick at a time. Enjoy the good parts of your family, and shrug off the bad parts. You know what you can talk to them about, and what you can't. Just work within the boundaries of what you know works with them.
I wish you the best Amy, and please don't ever hesitate to ask for help on here.
Joe
Thanks Joe. I am like that too. I changed my perception of how I veiw things also. My head tells me it shouldn't matter to me, but my heart gets upset and I can't get rid of the feelings, even though I know I am over reacting.
I deal with my own issues all the time but nobody understands it but me.
I agree 100% from a man with PTSD. Some days are better than others. Keep your head up Amy.
This is what I sent my family last week, the C&P for my PTSD help explain some of the events and how they effected me
Hi everyone,
I wanted to get this out to try and give some insight to what is going on with me. I realize I have not been in much contact with everyone, but it is not due to not loving you all. I've included a link to the VA website that talks about how family members can help with PTSD. I'm also attaching a copy of a portion of my narrative summary which should explain some but not all of my conditions.
I was self medicating for years and reached a point where It was no longer effective, became more dangerous, and was not helping me deal with my PTSD. I'm on a laundry list of new medication which also affects my mood. I continue treatment and have been through all the therapy that is currently offered for PTSD. I have great support from Mari and know I have yours.
All I ask is when we talk to each other is to please not ask about my condition or status, I do not like talking about it outside of my treatment and is not the reason I called. I do realize you all care, I get that, I have a 24 year old son who I love very much and understand any of your concerns.
I do want to catch up on everyone's life.
I'm currently waiting on the results of my VA reconsideration and expect to here something in the near future.
I love you all.
http://www.ptsd.va.gov/public/pages/helping-family-member.asp
Rich
Hi everyone,
I wanted to get this out to try and give some insight to what is going on with me. I realize I have not been in much contact with everyone, but it is not due to not loving you all. I've included a link to the VA website that talks about how family members can help with PTSD. I'm also attaching a copy of a portion of my narrative summary which should explain some but not all of my conditions.
I was self medicating for years and reached a point where It was no longer effective, became more dangerous, and was not helping me deal with my PTSD. I'm on a laundry list of new medication which also affects my mood. I continue treatment and have been through all the therapy that is currently offered for PTSD. I have great support from Mari and know I have yours.
All I ask is when we talk to each other is to please not ask about my condition or status, I do not like talking about it outside of my treatment and is not the reason I called. I do realize you all care, I get that, I have a 24 year old son who I love very much and understand any of your concerns.
I do want to catch up on everyone's life.
I'm currently waiting on the results of my VA reconsideration and expect to here something in the near future.
I love you all.
http://www.ptsd.va.gov/public/pages/helping-family-member.asp
Rich
My wife is on and off when it comes to understanding what I'm dealing with. My command was supportive at first but it seems they have grown tired of me, which is easy to understand. No one directly says it, but I get the sense that people don't believe me or my problems. Of course, i'm currently stationed in a branch that doesn't even go in to today's current combat zones, so i can also understand that. The only ones that really do understand are the ones that used to be 11b or 19D (or anyone thats been in combat alot). I've grown sour with the people around me because of this and I tend to.......... not give a fuck, per say
I'm with you canter, having this since 2004 with a real big bought in 2008-2013 command team is still supportive but I've grown more suspicious of their motives and feel they are constantly judging me, that I'm more of a burden then anything else. Hurry up and get out so we can get a replacement. Almost retiring, don't know what I'm going to do from here, military has been my life for 41 years, 19 as a dependent, 22+ as active army. Will miss the friendships and closeness I've experienced both in garrison and combat.
My wife is the most supportive, loving, and has stood by my side for over 21 years, Thank you honey
My wife is the most supportive, loving, and has stood by my side for over 21 years, Thank you honey
Amy, hang in there. I know exactly how you feel regarding relationships. Friendships have always been very important to me, but it is rarely mutual--I have many associates and "fair-weather" friends but one...maybe two true friends. That's just how most people are. It sucks, but it's reality. My suggestion would be to help, in any way you can, those in extreme need...ie the homeless. If you're able to do this, it should help fill some of the void you are feeling due to a lack of empathy in your life. And, as other's have pointed out, start doing some counseling and really work with therapist on putting your life back together.
Do you feel you are limited to working 14 hours or do you think you could work more? Are you a religious person at all? What's your educational background? Do you think there is anything that you could do, on your own, that would make you feel better?
Do you feel you are limited to working 14 hours or do you think you could work more? Are you a religious person at all? What's your educational background? Do you think there is anything that you could do, on your own, that would make you feel better?
I used to love going to school. I went full time while living in England. But signing up here at OSU is so confusing, I hear everyone having trouble with their GI Bill, I would have to wait 7 months to start, classes are so huge, I don't think I will do well with so many people around me.
I used to volunteer to feed the homeless twice a week through my church, but have trouble finding the motivation to go. I stopped going to church, because everyone just asks a hundred questions about me, I feel like an awful job interview. Especially when they find out I was military for 12 years and ask me stuff I don't really want to talk about. And I felt like none of them really care about me. Just small talk every Sunday. And they act like I'm the "new" member, when I started going to that church when I was 15.
I have trouble meeting people my age. Everyone my age is married.
I don't know about work. Sometime I get an extra shift, but if I work a double, I am in bed for the next 2 days. I don't know what to do anymore.
I don't feel like hurting myself. I just feel like I'm a waste of a life. Especially when I don't feel well.
When you were feeling good, what were your dream aspirations after the military?
Totally understand how u feel. Hang in there. You know how You feel and thats all it matters. Try not to let the fact they are not supportive affect you. I know its nearly impossible, though