I'm currently working in an office environment and everyone will probably think you have a great life now? I dread it daily due to my military experiences in an office environment. Currently I'm a govt contractor, and I am in the processing for a federal govt job, however I'm not happy (I don't even know what happy is anymore) and just feel like I'm dragging everyday. low energy, always in pain, and on top of it all my home life sucks (short and sweet.... cheating spouse). I just cant dig myself out of the funk and just go through the motions everyday. currently I'm still in the IPEB process and the VA is rating (Air National Guard). I should be happy all this is happening, but I'm just numb, and just try to trudge every day.... VA medical has been a joke so far ( find problems and does nothing about it)… can anyone relate? or maybe I need to pull myself out of the work environment for awhile? I feel like I've been constantly on the go from one crisis to the next the past 8 years plus and just wore out...
Dragging through life....
- Thread starter Russ35057
- Start date
I felt in a similar situation. I was active duty, got very sick, sick enough one neurologist told me he thought I had ALS. I went through the MEB without a diagnosis. Then was medically retired. Right after losing my health and career, I lost my father. I almost lost my marriage as well. I prayed to God and told him that I could not take one more ounce of loss... that if I lost one more thing at that time I’d kill myself. My mental health was bad enough I was rated 70% for it. The VA tried many psych drugs and most did nothing for me. My first year out I checked into the psych ward twice and was told in very strong terms that I needed to go again in several occasions. I finally got away from VA mental healthcare because of prescriptions, or lack thereof. Despite terrible insomnia 0-2 hours sleep per night without meds, they would only give me 20 sleep pills (lunesta) per month, so I was sleeping on 4-6 hours per night for 20 days and the other 10 I wasn’t sleeping at all. I can eat over the counter sleeping pills such as melatonin, Tylenol PM, etc like it’s candy but I still don’t sleep.
Despite terrible sleep apnea (91 AHI) the VA would t do the sleep apnea surgery. Went to civilian EnT and had the tonsils and adenoids removed and septioplasty, also civilian docs prescribe enough sleep meds for the whole month!! Yay! Now I can sleep 8 hours for the first time in 10 years! Sleeping better helps me feel better. My new psychiatrist put me on trintellix, a new psych med that helps. VA was only able to prescribe older psych meds, if the med is not in their “formulary”, you can’t get it from VA.... period. So that means all of the newer more expensive drugs are off the table from the VA.
try and use your tricare or civilian healthcare and skip the VA BS.
Despite terrible sleep apnea (91 AHI) the VA would t do the sleep apnea surgery. Went to civilian EnT and had the tonsils and adenoids removed and septioplasty, also civilian docs prescribe enough sleep meds for the whole month!! Yay! Now I can sleep 8 hours for the first time in 10 years! Sleeping better helps me feel better. My new psychiatrist put me on trintellix, a new psych med that helps. VA was only able to prescribe older psych meds, if the med is not in their “formulary”, you can’t get it from VA.... period. So that means all of the newer more expensive drugs are off the table from the VA.
try and use your tricare or civilian healthcare and skip the VA BS.
I have come to the conclusion that most jobs are soul destroying, with home life being bad things can get overwhelming quickly. I will say that you are the only one that can change your predicament whether that means getting a new job with less pay and responsibility but more fulfilling and couples counseling or maybe even divorce but sitting around doing nothing will just bring more of the same. I wish you the best on which path your choose just know that it may get a little worst before it gets better but I promise you it WILL get better.
Thanks for sharing
Thanks for sharing
You mentioned work, home life, VA medical and the IDES process.... Of all the things that are bothering you, which one bothers you the most? Focus on one thing at time, starting with the one that is the most bothersome. Deal with them in priority order.
well the work is already changing. ending my current job 20 March and start a new Federal civil service on 27 April. IDES Process... is getting down to the wire (36 days until my ETS....), and the relationship situation I think I need to see my own counselor about due to the fact that obviously Marriage counseling is not working. Maybe because it's my 3rd marriage I keep backing off of divorce? the fear of being alone or having to be back in the pool so to speak... too many variables in life so chipping away at each one and a few I have 0 control over...
@chaplaincharlie would be a better source of information on the issues you mentioned. I can only offer that in my opinion, being alone is much better than remaining in an unpleasant relationship.
Good luck,
Ron
I agree with you. Get some personnel counseling. It will help you sort through the patterns in your life and perhaps change your vector a tad, so things go better in the future. Best wishes. Mike